Rachel's Birthday Letter - Hi-res from Kristian Anderson on Vimeo.
I've followed Kristian and Rachel's journey from then on via his blog "there's a crack in everything". He fought to stay here, but was always ready to go. When I read "The Final Call", his final words posted by his wife Rachel, my heart broke. He wrote:
"How the light gets in.
As I mentioned at the start of this journey it’s a Leonard Cohen lyric. The truth being we’re all broken, we’re all cracked and what so many people see as a fault or a malfunction really is something to be considered useful. I’m not sure how much longer I have left but it appears that the physical and medical signs are all pointing to my end.
And, what a great time to go, right at Christmas-time.
Just wonderful."
And, in that moment I got it. One of those "aha" moments when you know that you know. So, I let that crack be, and I let the light in.
I was surprised how bright it was and how it illuminated the cracks in me that I work hard to conceal and a great deal of time and energy to maintain: with the "silly putty" that I used to play with as a child; with the plaster that was beginning to crumble; and for the real tough stuff, the concreate and welds. What I learned about all these barriers and shields is that they block the light. Any inability to allow me to be vulnerable denies my access to learning and strength . What I think makes me feel safe and comfortable takes away my ability to BE!
I decided to take out my chisel. I'm going after the big stuff first. The cracks that really look like caverns. I know that is where the biggest learning is, because they are the ones that scare me the most.
I found this rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Anthem". I'm partial to this interpretation by Jill Christensen and Perla Batalla. I love that Perla sings with her whole being. Watching her as she interprets a song is a pretty awesome experience. Jill Christensen is no slouch either. They are really pure light.
PURE LIGHT. Thank You, Kristian Anderson.
